Restless

I am missing my restful laziness. Nowadays I am so restless, so much that, I can't sit at home by myself. I need constant company to distract me from my restlessness. What is the result? Jada is out every night. A beer with friends here, a game night there, a long night at work in between, and another beer with friends again. I don't know how to get rid of this restlessness. It is weighing a ton on my shoulders. I can't sleep at nights. I can't wake up in the mornings. I don't want to go to work for hours. And when at work, I don't want to come home. I shower twice daily because the touch of hot water on my skin is the only thing that soothes my restless heart and mind. At that moment I forget all my daydreams and hopes, at that moment, there is nothing to worry, my mind is empty.
I try to distract myself all the time, keep busy and talking, and thank God it works, but at some point I grow weak and the lack of peace wins over my mind again.. So hard to sleep.. So hard to wait and be patient.. What is this restlessness? How do I get rid of it?