I like studying in coffeeshops. I can never get any work done at home, since I am a talented procrastinator and professional napper, so I have to drag myself out to study. I used to go to the library, but it is generally very boring and full of people who whisper into the dead of silence - very annoying. Since back when I was a full time student, I used to study at Espresso Royale at State and Main Streets, and at Sweetwaters downtown and in Kerrytown. There is something about a coffee shop that's very attractive and pleasant. The background music mixing with the noise from each table, somehow still peaceful enough.. And if you're lucky enough to be close to the windows you can take your head off of what you're doing every now and then and look outside, to the street, people walking by, enjoying the sun or running to their cars in the rain.
Watching small street life is a fun pastime of mine. You can see a lot of things that make you smile, you know, those little things..
Once I was waiting at the airport for my friend to pick me up, and there was this older man, in a neatly tucked-in shirt and jeans, walking towards a middle aged, kind of chubby but good looking woman, with a huge smile on his face. The woman was pulling a small rolling luggage. Waiting outside and enjoying the fresh air, I expected to see another hurried greeting and rushing into a car from this couple. Everyone was always in such a hurry, which is understandable, but also a little soulless. People usually get out of their cars, take a bag from the hands of the people they're picking up, no words spoken, no hugs no welcomes, get back in the car and drive off. But this couple... They met right in front of me, a few feet away, and I blushed when I saw them hug and put small kisses on each other's faces. They stood there for a little while, man's hand resting on the woman's back and the woman holding his shoulder lightly, and talked for a while. Only then the man took the luggage and they moved towards a parked car, talking and laughing. I don't remember what I heard them talk, but I got the impression that they were married for a long time and it wasn't the first time they spent time away from each other. In the midst of all that rush, there was me, standing with a cigarette in my hand, and there was this older couple, that resisted the hurried motions of an airport. It was wonderful.
But I digress, as usual.
So this weekend, I decided on Sweetwaters downtown to spend my evenings studying. Packing my Macbook and books and notes, I occupied a high top next to the windows (my favorite) both Saturday and Sunday evenings. Having worked in the serving business, I also made sure I bought a coffee or a scone every now and then. But mostly, I took notes and looked outside when bored, enjoying the bits of weekend I had.
Yes, I like Ann Arbor. My brother makes fun of me for that. So yes, I might be spending too much time in some neighborhoods than others. After years, you get to know a person or two in those places. Never hurts anybody, right?
On Saturday, I sit my face looking towards inside the cafe. This one guy, sits at the next table, facing me. Normally no one notices things like this, in the many hours I spent there, a lot of people occupied that table. But this guy, keeps staring at me and makes me very uncomfortable. I turn sideways and try not to think about it.
Today, Sunday, I go back and settle down in another high top. It happens to be the one closest to the outlet on the wall many tables use to plug their laptops in. So a lot of people come, use the plug, some say sorry some don't, you know, regular coffee shop interactions. Then, about an hour - hour an a half from closing time, this same guy, comes to me and asks me if I would mind if he shared the plug. I make sure I'm not friendly at all to encourage any other conversation other than a polite "sure", thinking he will leave his laptop on charge, or pull the cord, like many other people, to his table. He had been there for a while now, he must have been sitting somewhere, right? But he gets comfortable and squeezes himself on my table.
Now. I never mind sharing a table with anybody. I actually think it is a waste of space if you don't. But if you freaked me and made me uncomfortable the day before, in a very obvious way, you have some guts coming to my table today. And surely you are going to get a not-so-friendly reaction from me. Especially if you keep staring at me while making yourself brazenly comfortable at my table.
I make sure he understands I am uncomfortable, and try to focus. A friend calls. I tell him I'm studying at a cafe. I'm looking out of the window, away from the guy at the table, during the phone call. My friend asks me if I'm alone, and I reply by saying none of my friends are with me. As soon as I say this, I see my table-mate's reflection on the glass, his hands rising up in the air and he goes, loudly: "Whaaaat?? I don't count???" Awesome.
I turn to him while still holding the phone to my ear, and give him the worst possible look I can manage.
Now I don't think he was dangerous or anything. I saw him talking to a few people in there, so he must be somewhat of a regular as well, and probably this was his way of trying to "be friends". Yeah... no.
After I put the phone down, I ask him to move if there is an available table around. It's late and it's not crowded inside. He says that was his plan all along, and mumbles something about me seeming friendly or him trying to be friendly - I couldn't catch that one. I was trying to count backwards from 10 to hold my annoyance under control.
Soon he leaves and I can concentrate back to my studying.
It's a bit funny, though, because, although I enjoy observing other people, they are the people outside, whom I believe I can't offend by watching as they pass by. I never notice what's going on inside the cafe because I find it rude to stare at people too much who you share space with for some time. So I had no idea if there were people who came in and saw me sitting there for hours two nights in a row. But apparently someone has.
The coffee shop closes and I pack my stuff and get out, cross the street to the side where my car is parked, in front of my regular bar. Two random guys are standing outside the door, a few feet away from my car, and as I open my door, one of them says: "So, did you get all your studying done??" I look up, I don't know either of them. I am near-sighted, so I had to make sure, but no, I don't recognize his voice either. An unsure, reluctant "yeees...??" comes out of my mouth, thinking, maybe they just saw me at the coffeeshop for two days, and maybe at the bar sometimes as well. The guys seem to enjoy my weirding out, so while I'm trying to get into my car, the same guy continues: "Ready for your quiz??" Another unsure, reluctant "yes" on my part is responded with wishes of good luck and a wave from the two men, and I get into my car and drive away. I must admit I was a little like a deer in headlights. If it wasn't my regular bar we were in front of, I would not even have cared enough to notice or reply. But there, I didn't know what to do.
So while I'm driving home, I'm thinking: Maybe I do spend too much time around the same neighborhood in AA. Maybe I should have gone to another coffee shop after Saturday. Maybe I should have left the table and the coffee shop altogether when the weird guy showed up.
But then again, how big is AA, for anonymity, for anyone who has lived here long enough? Plus, I'm sorry but, I do like that neighborhood. I'm not going to let other people dictate where I can spend my time! It's not like this is the first time I spent long times at the same place. When I was a full time student I used to inhabit some of these coffee shops, hours at a time, many days a week. The same places I go to now. Heck - I almost lived in one for a week when I was back in AA after a long summer away, trying to get back into school, looking for a place to rent. Even after graduating, I used to meet at this very coffee shop with my then boyfriend after work (I used to work at a restaurant across the street) several times a week; he would study and I would keep him company reading books. And, it's not like I'm the only person ever to spend hours in a cafe studying! Certainly not the only person in AA who leaves a coffee shop with books in her arms during the week of finals.
So, I decide, I don't care if I spend too much time in the same places. I do so because I like these places. And if someone has to tease me for that, they'll be my friends, not strangers. If a stranger does that again, I'll have a different attitude next time for sure!
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